Their are so many times in our life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, upgrading our wardrobe or just trying to lose that weight “again,” but are afraid to try. We fear we may encounter the sceptics or hear the criticism we may receive from others. Over time we were brainwashed into believing other people’s opinions mattered and think they hold more weight than our own feelings and we hate that feeling of being judged.
If you want to break old habits, you must not be controlled by any outside people or forces. You must have the inner control of your own feelings and not let anyone weaken that motivation you need. You have to let your inner-self shine.
Everything is fine, there is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths, listen for it and ask yourself, if there is any truth to what your ego or someone is saying? Do they really know what they are talking about? If you feel they are after careful consideration, then use their feedback to improve. If your intuition tells you they are full of it, then disregard it, move on and be true to yourself and only accept opinions that hold truths!
Don’t be afraid to criticize yourself as well, but make sure it is your own opinion and not someone else’s. If you don’t like something about yourself, then change it. Always try to improve yourself.
However, sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed when we were young. Others have fed us so much information over the years that may have altered our thoughts of our own potential for greatness. Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth , our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where we can’t find anything we want. Lets do this! It’s time to clean up the mess of criticism, restructure and get motivated. This is the only way you will be able to change our habits and better our life.
For example, let’s say you have a high school reunion coming up, but for the past decade, you’ve been enjoying some of life’s finer foods. Over the years, your pants have become a little tighter and tighter. You don’t want to go your reunion in this fat stage. You then begin to fear what it’s going to be like to show up at your reunion looking this way. Panic hits and you vow that you will lose weight before the looming event arrives. To that end, you starve yourself. You even start to exercise. The pounds come off and you go to your reunion, a slimmer and more confident you. Then the cycle comes full circle. You get home and think it’d be nice to continue shedding the pounds, but you realize it’s harder than you thought. You begin to enjoy the finer things in life again, just a bit at first then more and more as time goes by. The weight then returns and you start the vicious cycle all over again.
So what now? What will the critics say once you have gained all that weight back? What about “no motivation, something must have happened, how about….she/he just got lazy?” Is it really the motivation and criticism that has us at a stand still? Is the lack of motivation the go-to-excuse?
Many think motivation is useless because it doesn’t ensure long-lasting results. Well, sometimes they are right. This thought tendency can be seen in what I call the Desperation Cycle. The Desperation Cycle shows how human nature influences us to take the easiest path instead of the best one. In persuasion, we need to pull people out of the Desperation Cycle and into permanent, long-term motivation, but how?
We all know we are creatures of habit. We are like water following the path of least resistance. As creatures of habit, we dwell in our comfort zones, places where we don’t have to think or spend much energy in analyzing our surroundings. In these zones, we become complacent, comfortable and resistant to change. We live by habit and routine in our comfort zones. We don’t stretch or strive for excellence. We consider change only when the pain of our current situation becomes too intense to ignore. Fear of the unknown and fear of making mistakes are also reasons why we stay in our comfort zone. We love our comfort zone because it is a safe place where we can reduce our mistakes and keep our failures to a minimum. Mark Twain said, “A cat that steps on a hot stove once will never step on a hot stove again, but neither will it step on a cold one.” The comfort zone is safe and warm, but it keeps us paralyzed and unmotivated to venture out of it.
In the Desperation Cycle, we first feel safe in our comfort zone. Then, fear begins to creep into our complacency. Only then do we realize that we haven’t accomplished any of the things we need to do. Suddenly, we fear what we are becoming and where we are going. As we contemplate our destination, we panic and work frantically to save ourselves. This frantic rehabilitation lasts just long enough for us to see exactly how steep the hill is going to be or how long the marathon really is. Then the excitement dies. We numb ourselves to these stark realizations and find ourselves lulled back into our comfort zone. So is this all the ego’s doing? Did you recognize exactly what the signs were? Did you recognize what fear mongers are doing this to your psyche and why? Three words would sum this all up. Lack of Determination.
“Lack” of determination to succeed in eating right and staying healthy, so “lack” would be the ego family member that is hindering out successful, happy, healthy life. It gives us that Lack of Determination to believe in ourselves. Lack of determination to make the change for improvement. Lack of confidence.
If we do not remove the brainwashing that was pre-programmed in us while we were growing up, we will always have that fear that someone will always be judging us. Why should you care? This is your life!
Motivation is just a skill, but determination should always be a way of life. Success is not achieved without determination.